i cant sleep

i tried

but i cant

suddenly

when i was going to sleep

i feel this ache and pain in my heart

its not physical

i wont kill me physically for sure

but i dunno

i just feel like i'm a bitch

i'm mean to ppl all around

i'm unlikable

i dont have many friends

i'm quite a failure for a person

i have nothing to mark my lives

dun have many frens

i dunno

i feel

kinda useless

like i'm a waste of space

i have this urge to hurt myself again

i dunno why

i know there are ppl who care about me

i know

but

i feel utterly hopeless

this ache in my heart wont go away

i dunno why

i feel like working myself until i'm so tired i'd just collapse

maybe then i can get peaceful rest n sleep

i dunno why i suddenly feel this way

i feel tired

but i just cant rest

cant sleep

it hurts

feel like maybe i shld push everyone away

n lead a totally recluse life

but the thought ot that hurts too

i dont want to hurt the ppl around me

but sometimes i think i do

and i cant stop it?

i dunno

i just want to scream out loud

maybe tt can mask the pain tt i feel?

im so confused

i dunno what to do

dunno why i feel like that

shit

what shld i do?

i think i'm totally fucked up man

sighs

o wells

but i guess no one wld read this

cus no one reads my blog anyway.

i feel like crying...